Learning Curve

Never being in any sort of organized sport before, I didn't realize the amount of training we'd be expected to do. I thought I'd just hop onto my skates, run some drills, then bout.

Two months into fresh meat and I'm learning that I knew nothing. Sure, I'd been out to the arena/track before training started, but I had no idea what to do. Well, other than to stay upright and skate in circles. That still seems to be the main gist of the game, so I guess I wasn't too far off. We've learned a lot, and it seems like there's still much more to learn. Between falling techniques, stops, hits, and whips, we've also picked up on some "derby talk".


So far we've learned knee stops, rockstar stops, baseball stops (my least favourite), turning knee stops, and, for lack of a better term, 4-point stops (hands and knees on the floor). Some may call these falls, but I like to think of them as controlled stops used in a controlled manner.


Stops that don't involve hitting the ground include the plough and T-stops. The plough was the bane of my existence at first, but now I prefer it. And T-stops, well, they have their place. I'm trying to use them more, but still feel a bit shaky about it.


The hits/blocks are the most challenging for me, so far. It takes a lot of nerve to get in front of an opposing team member and try to knock her down while maintaining your position. All the while, keeping in mind the dozen or so things that could land you in the penalty box.


Whips. Whips can be fun. Whips can be scary. Whips can be especially scary when received from a seasoned player. We haven't spent a lot of time practicing whips, and I hope that changes soon!


Oh the new terminology and metaphors we've heard! They're interesting:
Giner Shiner: Exactly what you might imagine it to be; a skate or a hard hit to the lady bits. I've been lucky enough to avoid it so far, but I've seen a few girls down as a result of the giner shiner.
Kick Ass: The position you want to maintain as much as possible while skating. It's been compared to the position a lady might be in if she were peeing in the woods. Feet shoulder width apart, knees over toes, and squatting.
T*ts Over Toes: Another thing to keep in mind while in Kick Ass. Gotta lean forward as you squat, otherwise you're on your bum.


We've also had the pleasure of doing a million crunches/pushups/planks. I'm not complaining though; they're good for me, and a strong core is vital to maintaining Kick Ass. I'm just really glad we get a day off between practices, is all.


Most importantly, I've learned that all the girls on the team really love it. Their passion for the game comes alive during bouts, and it's really fun to see. I've never heard so much yelling from the players' bench!

Here It Is

Now seems like a good time to start this blog. I'm just getting into roller derby, so why not start the blog at the beginning as well? Ok, well, I've been into the idea of roller derby for a while now, but previously lacked the nerve to actually do it.


Roller derby has been in my heart for years. Ever since I learned that my city has a roller derby league I've wanted to join. But, my nerves held me back; I was shy, didn't know anyone, and hadn't been on roller skates since I put my tooth through my lip when I tripped over a pebble while skating as a child. I had checked out the website for our local team, Eves of Destruction, joined Facebook groups related to the team, and looked up videos of their past bouts on YouTube. I hadn't been to any bouts in person. Are you crazy? None of my friends wanted to go, and I surely wasn't going to go alone. So, there I sat, admiring them from a far.


Last fall, I read on their site that they were recruiting for fresh meat. "This could be my opportunity. This could be it!" I thought. But let go of the idea fairly quickly. After all, I'm a weak vegan, and I'm lazy, and, and, and... Excuses, excuses, excuses; I never seem to run out of them. "Why didn't you get your work done today?" "I was blogging about derby."


That was until I decided to have some fun with the roller derby idea while shopping for a last-minute Halloween costume at Value Village. A derby girl! Of course! What a fun idea! And, not overtly sexual like every other "cute" costume for girls. My eyes lit up as I rushed to find my boyfriend at the other end of the store. The rest of that day was an adventure in finding just the right short shorts and pads. Finding a shirt was the easy part. As if it were waiting just for me in the Men's dept of Value Village. Dyke Jupiter! How great is that? The shirt was perfect, or at least it would be with a bit of tailoring to fit me. It was blue with what I thought was "Dyke Jupiter" written in a font you'd expect to find on a baseball uniform. I later figured out that it said "Duke Jupiter", which is, apparently, a band. Who knew?


I assembled my costume and off we went to the Halloween party. One challenge though; it seems the fisher price roller skates I managed to MacGyver together over my adult-sized shoes weren't allowed on the bus. It took some convincing and smiling, but the bus driver eventually let me on. As soon as we got to the party I was approached by a small girl -I should clarify, she's a gown up, just a small one. She had an excited look in her eyes and before saying anything else, she asked if I played roller derby. "No," I said, and explained how much I would like to. Turns out, I was talking to the right person. She's an Eve of Destruction! Hooray! She convinced me that roller derby is really all about team work, not necessarily being the best skater, or the fastest, or the hottest in fishnets. It's about the fun of the game and everyone is welcome to join. And what's the harm in trying out, right?


That was it. I was convinced. I would try out for roller derby.